Well apparently he's into motor boating.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
