I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
