yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
