So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
