i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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