Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
