They should really pass out barf bags in church
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
