Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
