did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
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As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
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Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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