Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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