he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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