I wanna bring you to show and tell
Someone shit on the floor
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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