I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
babies were throwing up all over the place
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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