someone threw a dead crab at me
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Randomize