You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
