Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
