Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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