all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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