you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
