sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I accidentally had phone sex last night
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
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