at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
