singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
His nipple licking is glorious
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