I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
