I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I am available for nakedness
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
