He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
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