He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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