Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize