Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
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