hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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