well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
