Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
