After last night, I could never be a politician.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
