just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
