Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
