You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
