just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
