This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
