ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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