I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
