She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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