that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Need sex. Gaining weight.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
