I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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