They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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