I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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