k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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