Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
