btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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