There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
