see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize