Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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