She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
