drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
