Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize