Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I'm eating all of the evidence.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
