My hand turned me down
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
