i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
