and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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