Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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