Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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